2015 is all about me coming out of my shell. I want to do the things I was afraid to do in the past. I also want too try new things. With that being said. I have started to write my very own novella. This is something that I have always wanted to do. I like to read as I have mentioned in previous posts. Reading is my passion. If I do not read a book at least once a week then something is very wrong. I have already read a book this week. Its was a great read.
But back to the topic on hand. I have started to write a novella. It won’t be a novel because they are to long to write and I want to keep it short but sweet. The story that I am writing it just came out of me. I don’t know where it came from. One minute I was laying down in bed about to drift off to sleep when this story line popped in my mind. This always seems to happen to me. When I have to write a paper for school it happens as well. Its like my best writing comes when I am about to fall a sleep. It is the most annoying thing in the world. Does this happen to other people? If so i would greatly like to know. I just had to get up and let my creative juices flow. It was at least 12am in the morning when I begun to write this story. The next thing I noticed it was 10 am. I was so deep in writing that I did not even realize how much time had passed. It was like I had a one track mind to get the story out on paper.
When I was discussing this with my friend I was so excited about others reading it and falling in love with my characters as I have. Then as I thought about it all the self doubt came in. I started to not believe in myself anymore. I started become shy about my work. Having your friends read what you have wrote is one thing but having others read it is a totally different ball game I was not ready for until I saw a quote on Pinterest “You can never cross the ocean unless you have courage to lose sight of the shore” Basically I was playing it safe. I was being afraid of my abilities. My friend told me your not going to be a great author and improve if your afraid to listen too others feedbacks. And she was 100 percent right. I have read books that were just awful but I left a review that I thought as a reader will help the author get better with time.
So I am not going to be afraid of what others think of my work. Its not going to be perfect as this is my first try. One thing is for sure I did give it my all. I am proud of myself for getting this far in what I have written. You can read the Novella on wattpad. I have included the link above but I will include the first chapter here on the bottom for you to read. If you like what you read leave an honest comment and if you don’t like what you have read still leave an honest comment. Thank you in advance for you honesty of my work.
p.s Happy Reading!!
One Step At a Time
By EbonyMonae(All Rights Reserved)
I woke up to loud banging. Taking the pillow off my head, I turned to look at the alarm clock it read 5:00 AM. Who the hell would be calling at this hour? Maybe if I ignore them this banging will stop I say to myself. BANG! BANG! BANG! Fuck this, I just fell asleep three hours ago getting off at the diner. BANG! BANG! BANG!
“Fuckkkkkk.” I yell can I get any damn sleep at all between work and school and interning I don’t get enough sleep.
As the banging continued I got myself out of my bed and yelled “I’m fucking coming, keep banging like that your going to wake the dead.”
The banging stopped immediately. I walked to the door and looked through the peephole and there was no one around. It might be one of those Be’Be’’s kid’s from apartment five playing around on peoples doors again, if it was I was going to be beating someone’s kids ass today. I opened the door to yell at the kids and saw no one. Still looking around, I am getting pissed now because I don’t have the time for these kids today. With finals fast approaching and the internship getting competitive I had a lot on my plate and anything lately has been setting me off.
Hearing whimpering I looked down and saw the most beautiful baby in the car seat sitting on my doorstep. I am in complete shock. Like what the hell? I immediately close the door thinking it’s a dream or even a bad joke someone is playing on me. Sending a quick prayer to god that this is indeed my tired eye’s playing tricks on me. I open the door a smidge and see the baby still their. As I opened it wider I see the guy from apartment 2b walk by and ask, “Did you see anyone put this child here?” The reply I received was “fuck off!” Well that just about answers it.
I bend down to see if there is at least a note attached and indeed there is one. Picking up the car seat and the diaper bag I walk into the apartment, close the door and then I set both of them down on my couch. They baby is looking up at me and I am staring at her and for five minutes we just sit and stare at each other. She has deep chocolate skin and big hazel eyes with long lashes with a head full of curls. This baby is just gorgeous, who would leave a baby like this. Its like we are sizing each other up but in my mind I am saying “who are you and why are you here?”
Suddenly I remember the note. I reach into the car seat and grab the note. It’s looks like its on hotel stationary, the ones that comes in every room. Quickly I read the note and then I re-read the letter to make sure I am reading it correctly.
I know we have not been very close over the years, well not at all. My life is hectic right now. I had a baby. I know what you’re thinking I had a baby because we both know I have a figure to die for. I hid my pregnancy because it would ruin my career. I am not cut out to be a parent that’s always been your thing. Out of the two of us you have always been the motherly type. I am asking you to take care of her. My career is in its prime now. I am traveling all over the world and seeing different things, meeting a lot of important people vital to my career, I do not have the time to be a mom, and the thing I do know is the life I lead is not for her. I know you’re in school and all so I know you will raise her right + plus give her the things she needs. Just take care of Asha Noelle and I have included all of her medical records, birth certificate and the formula she is on. She has to use a special type of formula because she has acid reflux.
If anyone were with me after I got done reading this letter they would of most likely saw my eyes bulging out of its sockets. Just like Monica to run from her responsibilities. Every since we were kids she has been doing this and getting away with it. Not this time it’s a life we are talking about here not some job, boyfriend or mistakes you made. This is a life that you created and your damn well going to face this responsibility. I can’t rescue her any longer I have done my part for her since I was thirteen years old I was the mother, sister and father to her. She will not choose her career over this child.
“Ugh just like your mama”. I yelled to the child. Since I can remember I have always been trying to clean up their mess. From mother to child. Our mother was a young teen mother and I had to basically raise myself after my grandparents died. Then she goes off and meets Monica’s dad Tyrone and those two dumb assess should not even think about having a baby because they both had the mind of a child. I was fourteen when Monica was born and since then I have always been the mother to her and the adult to my mother and Tyrone at times.
Suddenly the baby started to wail, I would not call that a cry because this child had some lungs on her. I was just so stunned that Monica would do this to this child. I was torn between picking her up or just leaving her. My life was finally on track with where I want it to be and here comes Monica to just slash it with her irresponsibility again. As she continued to cry I was waging war on what to do. I don’t do well with change I like the constancy of life and a set schedule. Should I call CPS? Should I do this for Monica? Can I do this for Monica I am barely making ends meet as it is, I say to myself as I pace the living room. Noelle continued to cry. I was so torn between what was right and what I wanted in my life. I swung around and looked at the child again with my decision made. I lifted her up and she threw up all over me. Lord help me. I do not know what my next step was but I knew i had to go one step at a time.
After cleaning us both up. I made her a bottle and rocked her with the rocking chair Mrs. Berta gave me when I first moved in. She looked up at me with big hazel eyes as she drank from her bottle. Her eyes never left mines they looked so trusting of me. If only she knew the war that was waging in me. Suddenly she reached up and her hand and I took her finger in mines and she held onto my pinky finger. As her lids began to get heavy she held onto my fingers never once letting go. Taking the bottle from her mouth I burped her but still continued to rock her slowly in the chair.
Thinking about it the rocking chair it was one of the first piece of furniture I had when I moved in and I could not bear to part with it as I got more money and upgraded to decent furniture from the thrift store two blocks away. Looking around at my apartment I was proud of myself. I came far in my life. My furniture was not by any means expensive but it was nice, affordable and comfortable due to the many weekends my best friend Ornella and I spent scourging thrift shops. The color scheme was colorful but not overly so. The living room consisted of a brown couch with beige pillows and creamy beige loveseat with deep brown pillows and of course the rocking chair.
After laying the baby down on my bed. I went to my laptop and did some research on her condition and noticed that the milk was going to be expensive. I looked over her medial records and noticed that she still needed to get her shots. I also realized that some day- cares wouldn’t take them unless Asha get’s her shots.
After finding the number that was attached to her medical records I hoped they were open as it was still early. I dialed the number and all it did was ring and ring. I hung up and redialed. On the third ring a person on the other end picked up and he sounded angry.
“Hello” they said.
“Good morning, is this Dr. Trenton’s office?” I asked.
“It’s to early for this shit”
“Excuse me?” I could tell I was going to have to curse this guy out by the end of this phone call because he was grating my nerves already.
“First of all if this is place of business?”
“Then you do not answer the damn phone that way.” I replied getting pissed.
“Do not tell me how to answer the phone miss.” He replied.
“If you answer the phone in a appropriate manner then I would not have to.” I replied.
“What do you want?” He sounded weird, drunk or hung over maybe.
“I am calling to make an appointment for my-”
“I’m not taking on any new patients at this time so good-”
“Listen asshole Noelle is not a new patient according to her records.”
“Well your number did not come up in our system, so I assumed-”
“You now what people say about people who ASSume things right”
“Please enlighten me?” He sounded like he was getting annoyed. His voice was rising slightly.
“I do not need to because you already know the answer to that, I called to make an appointment for Asha to get her shots can you tell me your earliest appointment?”
“Is it Asha or Noelle?”
“I don’t know what name to call her I like both does it matter, her last name is Thompson?” I sat back thinking of what to call her. Beginning to think why Monica named her both names.
“Yes it does matter, because on her chart its Asha not Noelle and we do not want to get her mixed up with other patients Miss. Enlightened one.” He replied with an attitude.
“Well if that is the case I will call her Noelle.” Clearly saying that to get on his nerves.
“What type of shots does she need?” He asked annoyed now.
“Look at her chart and you tell me?” I shot back.
“You’re her parent you shouldn’t you know these things ahead of time?”
“I am not her parent and I would guess the first round of shots since she is three months old and from her paperwork it looks like she has not had any as of yet.” I replied through gritted teeth.
“ Typical with you parents now a days, we have this Friday the 13th at 1pm?” Was his reply.
Now I am getting really mad at this asshole for implying that he knew my story or anything about my life. Just like a person to pass judgment on someone else. People are always so quick to pass judgement on me, been happening all my life.
“Typical parent? Typical parent I am two seconds away from cursing your ass out. You don’t know anything about my life so how dare you pass any type of judgment on me. If I did not need this appointment at the earliest convenience, I would most defiantly take her to another office where the patients are treated with respect and kindness, you can schedule her for that time frame. And lastly I AM HER AUNT” With that I slammed the phone down.
He really pissed me off, I do not let people get to me easily growing up the way I did you have to develop a thick skin. With a quick glance at the clock it was 7:00. I had to rush to get ready if I was going to make it to the office by 8:15 the latest. Making sure she was still a sleep. I rushed to get ready throwing anything on and doing a quick makeup regime. Looking in the mirror at my usually bright eyes had dark circles under them. My hair was not its usual big self since I did not twist it before going to sleep it was all over my head so a sleek puff was all that could tame that beast on my head. My dark brown skin did not look its usual self and primer was not going to help with that. I still looked like hell but this would have to do in the meantime. What I needed was more sleep but there was not enough time in the day.
Coming out of the bathroom I looked at Noelle sleeping having know idea what I was going to do with her. Only person I could depend on was the neighbors in my building, my best friend, and Aunt Gina. We were all close but the closest was my best friend, thank the lord she lived next door. I know she would be awake working on book of some sort. She was an accountant by day and writer by night.