As 2015 ended and 2016 begins. I felt the need to reflect back on several things this past year that I have been through and overcame!
I was sick. But I made it through. I was literally seeing a hematologist everyweek. Having 12 big vials of blood drawn out every week. One problem affected all the other health problems I had going on. Some days I wanted to give up. But I had to believe God had better plans for my life. When I felt like I couldn’t go on. I got the strength to go on. When I felt alone my best friend was by myside through it all.
I learned that life is precious and it’s time to leave my comfort zone. Going through a lot of health problems has taught me this. Life is supposed to be lived. I refuse to live by the sidelines.
Family! I let that go. I embraced my non-tradional family. That’s means I was adopted by a family that loved me. I was adopted into a family at the age of five that for years I felt like I didn’t belong because I wouldn’t conform to there way of thinking. For years I was hurt because I felt unloved by them, I tried to make them love me. Let me work harder in school, let me let them use me to show them I will always be there. They didn’t understand me. I learned that the siblings you grow up with or parents who raise you doesn’t intentionally mean that they have to be your family. I learned that the people who were suppose to by my side during my darkest days were not. Through a lot of reflection I learned that it’s okay. I can’t make people love me. I can’t make people be there for me. I can’t change who I am to be someone I a not so they can like me. I also learned that my non traditional family is my family. I am loved and I am accepted flaws and all.
I am learning to love Ebony Monae. I have let people make me feel worthless, ugly, unlovable. This year it stopped. My friend told me I had to look at myself objectively. What did I see when I looked at myself. I saw a fighter. When life got hard I kept on pushing. When people doubted me I showed them what I am made of. When people who I loved hurt me, I learned to let go. That for me is the hardest thing to do. When I look in the mirror I see beauty, not just my outward appearance but my inner beauty is shining through. I see a kind spirit. Someone who loves to laugh and make others do the same.
I am not perfect. I learned that it’s okay to fail. To make mistakes. Life is all about growth. Make mistakes and learn from them. Fail but always get back up.
In 2016 I want to do so many things and nothing will Stop Me!!
In 2016 I promise to:
Love 💜 Myself!
Xoxo Ebony Monae Xoxo
Wishing everyone a Happy New Year! May we all work on things this year that brings us happiness!