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Deeply Saddened yet Deeply Moved

Good morning guys. Its been a while since I have written. To be honest I have been going some mild depression. I am managing my depression now with the help of my therapist and psychiatrist so I’m on a road to recovery to being my best self I can be, but that will be a story for another day.

Today I want to talk about how shocked I am about what happened on Tuesday. I still am in shock. I am angered by the pure hatred I have seen on social media. On top of that I am overwhelmed by the amount 0f love and support I have also seen.

Tuesday I had to unfriend a few people on my social media accounts. They were people who I knew from my childhood. One thing I learned from Tuesday was that who you thought you knew, you really didn’t know that well after all. On Tuesday I learned that racism, discrimination, misogyny, homophobia were not deal breakers for people. I also saw humanity at its best. 

People have told me that I should just get over it Trump won. People told me that its just four years.  One thing I won’t be is SILENT. One thing I have learned is that Silence = Compliance. I am not silent about the things that matter to me. I won’t stay quiet when racism is running rampant. I have friends and family of different faiths, sexual orientations and creeds. I will fight for them. I will help take downs walls that people have built and if in that four years I have children I will raise them to do the same.

EbonY Monae


I don’t mind differnces of opinions but, I do mind hate. 



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Forgiving You💔

Good morning guys! I hope your doing well this morning. Sorry I haven’t written in a while, my heart was not in it. I have been going through things. Well I should say going through emotions. As you know I graduated a week ago but what I didn’t disclose is that my mom didn’t show up. 

For the last few days I have been in denial. I have been hurt and angry. I was in denial because I did not believe my own mother did not show up to her oldest daughters graduation. Hurt because it was one of my proudest moments and yet you failed to show up. I’m angry forget angry, I am mad as hell that you didn’t show and your only excuse was that you were tired. Tired? This day does not come around everyday. You could have slept in the car or the whole graduation until you saw me walk across that stage. 

In my heart I know I have to forgive her because if I don’t it will eat me up. The anger and the pain will slowly harden me and that’s not who I am. I always speak about living life and always make the best of if. But today I’m going to talk about forgiveness. To my readers forgive those who have wronged you. It won’t happen over night. It will take time but forgive them. Don’t think for one second it’s for them it’s not it’s for YOU

I have dealt with the anger and the pain now it’s time to embark on a journey of forgiveness. The day of my gradation I had amazing family to watch me graduate. My mother lost out. It was her loss to not witness a great accomplishment in my life. To my family I thank you for all you have done. I love you guys very much💜. 

Taking it one day at a time,

Ebony Monae


I will forgive, but I also learn a lesson. I won’t hate you, but I’ll never get close enough for you to hurt me again. I can’t let my forgiveness become foolishness

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Extremely Saddened😔

This breaks my heart to see this. I don’t know what made her do something like this to herself. My heart goes out to any woman or man that can’t not accept the skin they are in. Trust me I was there. 

I know what it’s like to hate the skin color your in. I used to be bullied for being dark skinned. Thinking of it now is bringing me to tears. Kids were mean and cruel. I remember using cream lightners on my skin. Especially in my cheeks areas. Before my mother caught on  to what I was doing, I was two different skin tones. This resulting me to be made fun of again.  

It’s so important to uplift people. Words of kindness will go farther than words of cruelty. I wish someone told me I was beautiful when I was going through this I my life. At such a young age I was lost and confused. I hated my skin color. I hated my hair. I hated myself. 

Now that I’m older and I look back on that time in my life. I am thankfully that I took a journey of self discovery. I’m thankful that I learned to love the skin I’m in. I never understood why God puts you situations until now. I learned from them. I believe my journey was to help others. I had to go through the the pain and self hate to help and understand what others are going through. Now I don’t know if that’s what Lil Kim is going through. I can only guess as to her drastic changes. 

Final thoughts, love who you are. Take a journey within yourself. Don’t let other people’s words of hate make you see yourself differently. God designed you with love. Your skin, your hair or what you don’t like about yourself does not define who you are! I have learned that the most beautiful people can be the ugliest. What’s on the inside will always matter. 

Made in Gods Image, 

Ebony Monae 


Take a journey of self discovery it will change you!

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Know Your Worth!


 Hunny have respect for yourself. LOVE yourself. Do not let anyone put you down, make you feel worthless. You are beautiful! You are amazing! You are NOT what they said you are! The basis for all relationships is RESPECT. 

Lauren Hill, she is just a beautiful soul. Take her words to heart. If she/he doesn’t respect you, then they don’t DESERVE you! I can attest to this. I been through it. I let them do that to me. In the end I learned myself worth. I learned that,  NO you will not speak to me that way. NO you will not put me down, make me feel inferior. The day I said NO I started living for ME! 

Furthermore do not go by what you see on TV. Nowadays you see these woman on these reality shows that let these men make them look like a fool. They have no respect for there relationships or the woman they are dating. Do Not be taken for a fool for any man/women that do not know how to be in a healthy and stable relationship! It’s not cute or healthy to be treated like that. Know Your Worth! 

Lastly, it’s okay to be alone. Don’t be afraid of being alone. There is beauty in growing and learning about yourself. Don’t be disrespected. Don’t stand for that. I understand it’s not easy to walk a way, but understand this there is beauty in walking away! 

Giving it to you Straight, 


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Breaking The Mold!!

In honor of International Women’s Day!

This quote is so inspiring to me. I have a three beautiful smart nieces. As I think about them as I type this post. I want them to have more opportunities then I ever had. I came to the realization that it starts at a young age to empower them to be strong, brave and courageous. It all starts with them. In a speech by fellow feminist Emma Watson she states “….it will take 75 years for a woman to be paid the same as men.” 75 years? What saddens me the most; is that I most likely won’t be around to see it! What I do know is that it starts with the next generation of woman and that’s our daughters, nieces, granddaughters and cousins. We have to teach them to be strong. To fight for women’s rights. To never give up. TO BREAK GLASS CEILINGS. 

Happy International Women’s Day! Lets all celebrate this day because WE HAVE EARNED IT!! 

Teaching Young Girls of Tomorrow,

Ebony Monae



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I Want Every Day to Be Valentines Day❤️

So yesterday I got into a heated discussion(it’s a nice way to say argument) with my lovely sister about Valentine’s Day. Since I’m single and she has a boyfriend/baby daddy our views are vastly different. I was debating whether to write something as it is so cliche and I don’t want to come off as “bitter”or “Debbie Downer” as my younger sister put it. I felt like I have to get this off my chest because it didn’t sit right with me. Someone once told when you are feeling the most that’s when you write. So here goes!

First things first, just because I am single in no way or form makes me bitter or hating on anyone’s relationship. Second I was that female that expected gifts on Valentine’s Day as well as time,attention and expensive dinners. As I grew up and matured I wanted differently. Lastly it took time for me to realize that how stupid I was being. He can treat me like crap all year long but that one day he gets a pass because it’s Valentines Day? NO! Not anymore!

That’s what changed. I didn’t want that. I wanted someone to buy me flowers because it’s a Friday and he knows my week was tough at work! Get me peanut M&M’s because it’s my time of the month and they solve the sweet and salty taste that I crave. On Tuesday lets go to a dinner because those biscuits I love are to die for and you know I don’t want to cook us dinner. That’s what I want. Not some guy to treat me good on one day of the year. Treat me as if everyday is Valentines Day! 

As mentioned above I am not hating on anyone’s relationship. I don’t want my post to ruin anyone’s special day or what they believe about Valentine’s Day; but I will say it just pisses me off when people get to tell you just because you don’t see something there way you are “bitter”or “jealous”. No I am not, as I grew up I just wanted different things from a relationship. My sister is still very young and immature. I thought as a another woman and a mother with a daughter that she could relate to what I was saying. Silly me; I was wrong. Honestly she is not the first woman to say that two me when it comes to my thoughts on this day. Or now that I think about it my thoughts on relationships period. 

I understand my views different from other woman but I think we all can say that we want a man that will treat us with the utmost respect. Him treating me or showing me appreciation on one day doesn’t cut it for me as there are 364 other days in a year. 

Well that’s all I have to say for this post! 

Loving Myself First, 

Ebony Monae💜


Happy Valentines Day❤️💗❤️💗

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Lost in Translation😔

I finished my last semester of my undergrad last December. I can not stress how  happy I am that I completed my BA as it had been a long time coming. 

But as that chapter came to a close. Another opens. I began to ask myself questions like what to do next with my life? What comes after this achievement? Are all people lost like I am? Or is it just me? 

I see my friends are having children, getting married and know what they want to do with there lives and I just don’t. I thought as you grow up you know what steps to take next in life. I thought when I became an adult there was a manual on life. I know after high school it’s college. I did that. What’s after college? More college? How do I begin to live life when I don’t even know what I want to do with my life. 

When I look at other educational  options all I see is more testing or more money to spend that I don’t have. It’s a major turn off for me. I pride myself on being an example for my siblings. Even though two are older than me and another is younger I refuse to be another statistic. I want to show them that there is other options to life than what we have been exposed to. But when I see all that goes into furthering myself it’s discouraging. I don’t want to do anything with myself. Then I start to feel like a failure. A big fat failure. Ugh why does life have to be so damn on confusing and frustrating. 

Can anyone relate to this? I’m 26 and yet so confused more than ever about life. Hopefully I will find some much needed direction soon. 

Lost girl, 


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Thank You And Happy Birthday!! 

Thank You Dr. Martin Luther King. Because of you and others, people of color and other races have come a long way towards equality. You gave us a voice. Growing up my grandmother use to sing you praises. Young me thought why? He’s just another preacher. She sat me down and explained to me that you were more.  You were a vision of hope. She described what life was like growing up in the south. She recalled not facing extreme racism like her brothers and sisters due to her lighter skin tone but she remembered how she felt. She felt worthless. 

My grandmother engrained in me to be humble and most of all thankful. Young me wouldn’t understand the significance of her words until later on in my life. 

I won’t put you on a pedalstool because like any other human you had flaws. But I will say that you paved the way for young people like me to not have to take a seat in the back of the bus, a right to equal education, the right to be African America in a country when racicm is still much alive. 

Your bravery and courage paved the way for a black man to be President of the United States. 

It saddens me to see young men and woman forgetting about the people who fought and died for some of the luxuries they have today. It saddens me to see the younger generation putting pop stars as there idols based on looks and the money they flash around. 

It breaks my heart to see we have entered an era where young men and woman are dying at the hands of police officers and that our legal system is failing them.  Justice is not being served. It’s time we all stand up for what matters. No longer should we be silent on these matters. 
We have a voice and it’s our turn to take up the torch and march forward. 


Ebony Monae


Wishing you a very special Birthday in Heaven!! 

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Boycotting The Fourth Of July

So its the fourth of July today which means the U.S will celebrate its 239th year since the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, by the Continental Congress declaring that the thirteen American colonies will regard themselves as a new nation. Most of the nation will have a big BBQ and fireworks. This fourth I will be thinking about the what the fourth means to me. It has been on my heart all day to write this.

Especially with everything that has happened in the last couple of weeks with the death of nine innocent people in Charleston, North Carolina it made me really think about the Fourth of July. To be honest I am not in a celebrating mood. The fourth was one of my favorite holidays as a child. It was not just the fireworks and the watermelon that appealed to a young me but it was the sense of pride to that I belonged to a great nation. That this was a land of great opportunity. From early on my grandmother instilled in me that in this land you can achieve anything you just have to work a little harder than most. But this fourth I am not in the mood to celebrate. I am feeling very unpatriotic.

In 1776 my ancestors were slaves. When they first sent the The Declaration of Independence to the British, the founders stated that  “All men are created equal. That they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights. That among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” That turned out to be false because all men were not equal nor would they ever be an equal when you have people burning down predominantly black churches this past week. And these men would not be “equal” until maybe The Emancipation Proclamation in 1863 that freed African Americans in free states, and after the Civil War, the Thirteenth Amendment emancipated all U.S. slaves in all states. With that being said should an African American Celebrate the Fourth of July? Because were we ever truly an equal? When the confederate flag waves so freely in the southern states.

One of my high school teachers Mr. White said to me “We were once slaves, but are we truly free?” When writing this I thought back to that day he asked me. A young me at that time, thought didn’t you just teach us about freeing the slaves so yes we are free. Now that I am older and had life experiences. That question is in the forefront of my mind. To this day people of my color are still dying and the people that are doing the killing are walking away. So where in here do these African Americans have the right to life as the the Declaration of Independence stated? It does not feel like freedom to me.

During the civil rights churches were burned down left and right. Growing up my mother, aunts and grandmother were around when Martin Luther King and other Civil Rights leaders fought for Civil Rights for African Americans. To see this is my day and age is sad and makes me wonder how far we have regressed and not even realized it. I understand that racism will never go away. But I thought that as a nation we have come far, farther then other nations. Over the last few years I have seen young men and women beat, jailed, or killed because of the color of there skin.

How can I feel patriotic when I see fellow African Americans face injustice everyday? How can I feel a sense of pride when I see how the news portray people of color? With those questions being asked I can not in good faith feel anything but anger and extreme sadness that in this era people are still facing extreme forms of racism and hate. My fellow countryman think its okay to wave a flag that symbolizes so much pain to a lot of people.

I am extremely disheartened on this day because when the Declaration of Independence was written it was not for everyone it was for certain type of person. So I can not stand up and celebrate with the rest of the country. I can not stand up and enjoy it when nine African Americans will never see another Fourth of July.

With that being said I will boycott the Fourth of July until everyone can stand up and feel a sense of pride about our country.



This is one of my favorite poems from this young woman, it speaks of what I was feeling on this day put in slam poetry.