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It’s Okay to Walk Away 

Morning sunshines. 

Happy Tuesday!! 

Have a positive day. 
It’s no shame in walking away. You did this for yourself. Don’t let anyone let you feel bad about your choice to walk away. Be proud of yourself. No one deserves to stay in a relationship of any kind where they are unhappy. Stand strong in your decision and for once choose yourself💜

Love,

E
ps,

Remember lifes to short to be unhappy. 

African American, Be Happy, Confidence In Yourself, Daily Affirmations, Enjoying Yourself, Extreme Sadness, Follow Your Heart, Food for thought, Have Courage, Heartbreak, Inner Strength, Love, Love Life, love Yourself, Swirling, Valentines Day, Woman Encouragement, Words of Wisdom

I Want Every Day to Be Valentines Day❤️

So yesterday I got into a heated discussion(it’s a nice way to say argument) with my lovely sister about Valentine’s Day. Since I’m single and she has a boyfriend/baby daddy our views are vastly different. I was debating whether to write something as it is so cliche and I don’t want to come off as “bitter”or “Debbie Downer” as my younger sister put it. I felt like I have to get this off my chest because it didn’t sit right with me. Someone once told when you are feeling the most that’s when you write. So here goes!

First things first, just because I am single in no way or form makes me bitter or hating on anyone’s relationship. Second I was that female that expected gifts on Valentine’s Day as well as time,attention and expensive dinners. As I grew up and matured I wanted differently. Lastly it took time for me to realize that how stupid I was being. He can treat me like crap all year long but that one day he gets a pass because it’s Valentines Day? NO! Not anymore!

That’s what changed. I didn’t want that. I wanted someone to buy me flowers because it’s a Friday and he knows my week was tough at work! Get me peanut M&M’s because it’s my time of the month and they solve the sweet and salty taste that I crave. On Tuesday lets go to a dinner because those biscuits I love are to die for and you know I don’t want to cook us dinner. That’s what I want. Not some guy to treat me good on one day of the year. Treat me as if everyday is Valentines Day! 

As mentioned above I am not hating on anyone’s relationship. I don’t want my post to ruin anyone’s special day or what they believe about Valentine’s Day; but I will say it just pisses me off when people get to tell you just because you don’t see something there way you are “bitter”or “jealous”. No I am not, as I grew up I just wanted different things from a relationship. My sister is still very young and immature. I thought as a another woman and a mother with a daughter that she could relate to what I was saying. Silly me; I was wrong. Honestly she is not the first woman to say that two me when it comes to my thoughts on this day. Or now that I think about it my thoughts on relationships period. 

I understand my views different from other woman but I think we all can say that we want a man that will treat us with the utmost respect. Him treating me or showing me appreciation on one day doesn’t cut it for me as there are 364 other days in a year. 

Well that’s all I have to say for this post! 

Loving Myself First, 

Ebony Monae💜

ps, 

Happy Valentines Day❤️💗❤️💗

After College, Anger, Black Girl, Confess, Extreme Sadness, Food for thought, Frustration, Heartbreak, Lost Girl, Needs Direction, Quarter Life Crisis, Uncategorized

Lost in Translation😔

I finished my last semester of my undergrad last December. I can not stress how  happy I am that I completed my BA as it had been a long time coming. 

But as that chapter came to a close. Another opens. I began to ask myself questions like what to do next with my life? What comes after this achievement? Are all people lost like I am? Or is it just me? 

I see my friends are having children, getting married and know what they want to do with there lives and I just don’t. I thought as you grow up you know what steps to take next in life. I thought when I became an adult there was a manual on life. I know after high school it’s college. I did that. What’s after college? More college? How do I begin to live life when I don’t even know what I want to do with my life. 

When I look at other educational  options all I see is more testing or more money to spend that I don’t have. It’s a major turn off for me. I pride myself on being an example for my siblings. Even though two are older than me and another is younger I refuse to be another statistic. I want to show them that there is other options to life than what we have been exposed to. But when I see all that goes into furthering myself it’s discouraging. I don’t want to do anything with myself. Then I start to feel like a failure. A big fat failure. Ugh why does life have to be so damn on confusing and frustrating. 

Can anyone relate to this? I’m 26 and yet so confused more than ever about life. Hopefully I will find some much needed direction soon. 

Lost girl, 

EbonyMonae 

African American, Anger, Black Girl, Boycott the Fourth Of July, Brave New Voices, Charleston 9, Civil Rights, Extreme Sadness, Food for thought, Fourth of July, Heartbreak, Racism, Slam Poetry, Unpatriotic

Boycotting The Fourth Of July

So its the fourth of July today which means the U.S will celebrate its 239th year since the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, by the Continental Congress declaring that the thirteen American colonies will regard themselves as a new nation. Most of the nation will have a big BBQ and fireworks. This fourth I will be thinking about the what the fourth means to me. It has been on my heart all day to write this.

Especially with everything that has happened in the last couple of weeks with the death of nine innocent people in Charleston, North Carolina it made me really think about the Fourth of July. To be honest I am not in a celebrating mood. The fourth was one of my favorite holidays as a child. It was not just the fireworks and the watermelon that appealed to a young me but it was the sense of pride to that I belonged to a great nation. That this was a land of great opportunity. From early on my grandmother instilled in me that in this land you can achieve anything you just have to work a little harder than most. But this fourth I am not in the mood to celebrate. I am feeling very unpatriotic.

In 1776 my ancestors were slaves. When they first sent the The Declaration of Independence to the British, the founders stated that  “All men are created equal. That they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights. That among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” That turned out to be false because all men were not equal nor would they ever be an equal when you have people burning down predominantly black churches this past week. And these men would not be “equal” until maybe The Emancipation Proclamation in 1863 that freed African Americans in free states, and after the Civil War, the Thirteenth Amendment emancipated all U.S. slaves in all states. With that being said should an African American Celebrate the Fourth of July? Because were we ever truly an equal? When the confederate flag waves so freely in the southern states.

One of my high school teachers Mr. White said to me “We were once slaves, but are we truly free?” When writing this I thought back to that day he asked me. A young me at that time, thought didn’t you just teach us about freeing the slaves so yes we are free. Now that I am older and had life experiences. That question is in the forefront of my mind. To this day people of my color are still dying and the people that are doing the killing are walking away. So where in here do these African Americans have the right to life as the the Declaration of Independence stated? It does not feel like freedom to me.

During the civil rights churches were burned down left and right. Growing up my mother, aunts and grandmother were around when Martin Luther King and other Civil Rights leaders fought for Civil Rights for African Americans. To see this is my day and age is sad and makes me wonder how far we have regressed and not even realized it. I understand that racism will never go away. But I thought that as a nation we have come far, farther then other nations. Over the last few years I have seen young men and women beat, jailed, or killed because of the color of there skin.

How can I feel patriotic when I see fellow African Americans face injustice everyday? How can I feel a sense of pride when I see how the news portray people of color? With those questions being asked I can not in good faith feel anything but anger and extreme sadness that in this era people are still facing extreme forms of racism and hate. My fellow countryman think its okay to wave a flag that symbolizes so much pain to a lot of people.

I am extremely disheartened on this day because when the Declaration of Independence was written it was not for everyone it was for certain type of person. So I can not stand up and celebrate with the rest of the country. I can not stand up and enjoy it when nine African Americans will never see another Fourth of July.

With that being said I will boycott the Fourth of July until everyone can stand up and feel a sense of pride about our country.

~EbonyMonae~

p.s

This is one of my favorite poems from this young woman, it speaks of what I was feeling on this day put in slam poetry.

Black Girl, Confess, Enjoying Yourself, Food for thought, Heartbreak, Inner Strength, Love, Love Life, love Yourself, Quarter Life Crisis, Uncategorized, Words of Wisdom

Stopped being Alive and started LIVING!!

Hey fellow bloggers, it’s been a long time since I written. I been going through things. And when I go through things I turn to my writing but even that I didn’t want to do because my feelings and emotions were all over the place.

Since I last written I gained a beautiful niece👶🏾and nephew👶🏾. I have had surgery, ended my semester somewhat okay. I got a different position at my job. Life should be going good right? Wrong it’s not. I should not be complaining because through it all I’m still breathing, I have food in my belly and clothes on my back I should be blessed. But deep down inside I am lost.

I am at a cross road in my life and I feel lost and lonely and scared. I am lost because I don’t know what direction to take with my life. Scared because I don’t want to make the wrong choice and end up looking stupid in life. Lonely because when I see my friends and family settling down and starting a family I have no one to do any of that with.

I recently read a book that put what I was feeling into perspective. “Stop being alive and start LIVING” That is what I am doing with my life. I thought life has times when I have to do certain things and they don’t. Its okay to not have those things others have in there lives because everyone is different and god has a different plan for everyone.

Life is all about living and that is what I plan on doing. Stop being afraid to be lonely because someone is out there for me and stop being lost and take one day at time because life has a funny way of showing you things that matter most.

💜💜 Ebony Monae💜💜
To anyone that is feeling this just remember life is supposed to be LIVED. So START LIVING💝💝

Confess, Food for thought, Heartbreak, Inner Strength, Love, Love Life, love Yourself

🔥Slow Dancing in Burning Room🔥

The words of this song just speaks to me. When you love someone even when you know that person is not for. Even when you know that there is someone out there so much better than them. Even when you know that relationship is doomed from the start. Your heart just wants what your heart wants. After all the tears and the pain you know you LOVE yourself more this time around. I find myself picking up the phone wanting to call you to see how your doing more than anything. I find myself just day dreaming about us what could have been.  The hardest thing I had to do was walk away from something that I knew was not for me. People reading this is probably like she is crazy that is the easiest thing. But it is not, not when you loved someone with all your heart and soul. Not when you gave your all and all your firsts to this person. Not when you fought so hard to be together. The heart is a funny organism it plays tricks on you. It loves the people who are not good for us but it does not love the ones are the best for us. Too all those that left because you knew that you were slow dancing in a burning in a room, this post is for you. Too finding new love, too finding yourself, too living a life free of tears THIS BLOG POST IS FOR US.

💜💜 EbonyMonae 💜💜