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Let It GO

Morning Sunshines,

As you know this week its all about #selfcare. I want to just focus on me this week. I plan on mediating this morning and I’m going to burn some sage to clear my aura. I am starting to feel lighter and so much better. Todays topic is letting go. Even if that includes people.

A couple of months ago I had my heart broken in two, besides being devastated I felt like a damn fool. When I felt like this all those insecurities started to enter my mind. I started to ask myself if I was good enough? Am I pretty enough? I started to degrade myself. Started to feel unworthy.  What I should of told myself “Yes I Am Enough”

During that time I didn’t want to face the truth, so I closed myself off and wallowed in my pain. This was also a reason I didn’t blog. I felt like a damn fraud to my readers. I encouraged you to walk away from hurtful people, yet I didn’t. I let this person back into my life. I fell for the lies and I fell hard.  For the last couple of months I carried that hurt with me, but  TODAY its gone  You want to know why? Because it is not my pain to carry. I gave my all to a person who was not ready, but I don’t deserve to allow that pain to stay with me.

I came to realization that what is meant to be is meant to be. I had to learn to let go of something that was not good for me. I will say during that time I didn’t want to hear that, didn’t want to see that. Now reflecting on it, I am glad it ended the way it did because NOW I know what I deserve. NOW I know better. NOW I am stronger. To anyone going through heartbreak know that it gets better. Know that you learn to smile through the pain and the first breath after letting it all go is the most beautiful sound you will ever hear.

There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go!

Breathing Easier💜

EM

 

 

 

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lifestyle, Strong, Words of Wisdom

What Would You Change? 

It’s the weekend and while some of us are going out to enjoy the end of a busy work week some of us are not. Some of us like me are contemplating life. My question that is on my mind as I type this is; 

If there was one thing you change in your life what would it be?

That one thing would be for me is to stand up for myself when it comes to my family. I put up such a good front that I don’t need them but that little girl inside is waiting to be accepted. To be loved. My best friend gave me a naked truth about myself tonight. 


Seeing those words really made me look at it from her perspective. In mind I’m like I’m so done with you and screw you guys but in reality if they need something I’m always there. I truly have to learn to harden my heart and walk away because it’s not a good thing for me to be treated that way. 

What in your life can you change? If you can change it how would you?

In my 26 years on this earth I’ve come to realize that life is a tricky thing. It’s beautiful yet fucking painful. You can’t go back and change the past only make a better future for yourself. 

Contemplating Life

Ebony Monae 💜

Anger, Be Happy, Black Women, Blogger, Extreme Sadness, Forgiveness, Inner Strength, lifestyle, lifestyle blogger, Strong

Forgiving You💔

Good morning guys! I hope your doing well this morning. Sorry I haven’t written in a while, my heart was not in it. I have been going through things. Well I should say going through emotions. As you know I graduated a week ago but what I didn’t disclose is that my mom didn’t show up. 

For the last few days I have been in denial. I have been hurt and angry. I was in denial because I did not believe my own mother did not show up to her oldest daughters graduation. Hurt because it was one of my proudest moments and yet you failed to show up. I’m angry forget angry, I am mad as hell that you didn’t show and your only excuse was that you were tired. Tired? This day does not come around everyday. You could have slept in the car or the whole graduation until you saw me walk across that stage. 

In my heart I know I have to forgive her because if I don’t it will eat me up. The anger and the pain will slowly harden me and that’s not who I am. I always speak about living life and always make the best of if. But today I’m going to talk about forgiveness. To my readers forgive those who have wronged you. It won’t happen over night. It will take time but forgive them. Don’t think for one second it’s for them it’s not it’s for YOU

I have dealt with the anger and the pain now it’s time to embark on a journey of forgiveness. The day of my gradation I had amazing family to watch me graduate. My mother lost out. It was her loss to not witness a great accomplishment in my life. To my family I thank you for all you have done. I love you guys very much💜. 

Taking it one day at a time,

Ebony Monae

ps, 

I will forgive, but I also learn a lesson. I won’t hate you, but I’ll never get close enough for you to hurt me again. I can’t let my forgiveness become foolishness

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Extremely Saddened😔

This breaks my heart to see this. I don’t know what made her do something like this to herself. My heart goes out to any woman or man that can’t not accept the skin they are in. Trust me I was there. 

I know what it’s like to hate the skin color your in. I used to be bullied for being dark skinned. Thinking of it now is bringing me to tears. Kids were mean and cruel. I remember using cream lightners on my skin. Especially in my cheeks areas. Before my mother caught on  to what I was doing, I was two different skin tones. This resulting me to be made fun of again.  

It’s so important to uplift people. Words of kindness will go farther than words of cruelty. I wish someone told me I was beautiful when I was going through this I my life. At such a young age I was lost and confused. I hated my skin color. I hated my hair. I hated myself. 

Now that I’m older and I look back on that time in my life. I am thankfully that I took a journey of self discovery. I’m thankful that I learned to love the skin I’m in. I never understood why God puts you situations until now. I learned from them. I believe my journey was to help others. I had to go through the the pain and self hate to help and understand what others are going through. Now I don’t know if that’s what Lil Kim is going through. I can only guess as to her drastic changes. 

Final thoughts, love who you are. Take a journey within yourself. Don’t let other people’s words of hate make you see yourself differently. God designed you with love. Your skin, your hair or what you don’t like about yourself does not define who you are! I have learned that the most beautiful people can be the ugliest. What’s on the inside will always matter. 

Made in Gods Image, 

Ebony Monae 

ps, 

Take a journey of self discovery it will change you!

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Trust Your Journey! 

  
Happy Friday Loves💜! 

It’s Friday! Finally I can unwind and relax. NOT! Busy weekend coming up! Enough about me. How is everyone doing? I hope you had an amazing week. I hope you did all the things you wanted to do. I hope you stuck to you healthy eating plan. I hoped you walked away from people that hurt you. I hope you stood up for yourself. If not there is always tomorrow OR right now. Remember life is too short to waste on tomorrow’s. Right now in this moment claim your life back. 

My message to you on this Friday is don’t give up. Life will confuse you. Life will knock you down. Keep on fighting the good fight. Whatever you do, DO NOT GIVE UP! I believe that anything you put your mind to you can achieve. 

Last week I applied to take the civil service test for child protective services in my county. I actually take it a month away. Then on Wednesday I received an email for a per Diem job opportunity working with foster children. God is amazing! A couple of months ago I was  lost with my life. No plan, no direction. Now I have a job opportunity. Maybe I will like it. Maybe I won’t. But I will say that I’m going to try it. I don’t want to sit back and let opportunities pass me by.   

Life is all about learning and growing. I am learning about me. I told you guys in previous post for too long I have put so many people before me. Now I will put myself first💜! 

My message to you is to trust in Gods promise. He has a plan for your life. He will not lead you astray. I’m a testament to that. So trust in your journey. Yea, you may feel lost and yea you may feel alone, but know this you are not alone because I too have been in that place your in at this moment. I know that if you don’t give up amazing things will happen in your life. 

Blessed and Highly Favored, 

Ebony Monae! 

ps,

Keep GOING💜

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Feeling THE BERN🔥🔥🔥

Tuesday was NY state primary for president and I voted for Bernie Sanders. Why? Simple, because I believe in everything he stands for. He is a man that’s stands for many! He has ideas that can transform this nation. 

Sadly we did not win New York for him, but he is catching up to Hilary Clinton in the polls. He can change our nation. It’s time we ALL took a stand against big money in politics, healthcare, education, climate change, incarceration. Too many people have been quiet for to long. We must stand up and demand these changes. 
  
Bernie know this I’m with you! I’m with you until you decide you have gave it your all. Like I said on my Instagram post “I’m with you like Cap and Bucky till the end of the line.” (Follow me, ebony_monaes_thoughts) 

People ask me all the time your a woman why not vote for a women. It’s not about gender, it’s about people that are falling through the cracks in our nation. It’s about a nation that’s for everyone not just the 1%, it’s about ALL AMERICANS! Hilary doesn’t stand for everyone. Last week Verizon employees went on strike because 40,000 jobs are be outsourced to India. Did I see Hilary rallying with these Americans that are going to loose there jobs? No! Why because she doesn’t CARE! To know what we ordinary citizens go through you have to speak to us. You have to come down your high horse and see what we face everyday. 

Why I’m voting for Bernie because education and healthcare reform is dear to my heart. I’m a college student that in my junior year I faced a lot of health problems. As I graduate in May, I am coming out of college with a lot of school debt that I’m an struggling to pay back. Why? Because there are not a lot of jobs that can pay me what I need to survive. I cut back on a lot of things just to put money in other areas of my life such as bills. Bills (I hate that word)!!

Bernie Sanders you had my vote and that of many of my friends. We STAND WITH YOU because you are fighting for causes that matter. These causes will affect our children futures. We got to make sure things are done right by them. 

Thank you Bernie Sanders for standing up for the 99%! 

Feeling The Bern, 

Ebony Monae🔥🔥

Vote, we can’t not have bigots like Donald Trump running this Country!! 

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Know Your Worth!

  
R-E-S-P-E-C-T!!!! 

 Hunny have respect for yourself. LOVE yourself. Do not let anyone put you down, make you feel worthless. You are beautiful! You are amazing! You are NOT what they said you are! The basis for all relationships is RESPECT. 

Lauren Hill, she is just a beautiful soul. Take her words to heart. If she/he doesn’t respect you, then they don’t DESERVE you! I can attest to this. I been through it. I let them do that to me. In the end I learned myself worth. I learned that,  NO you will not speak to me that way. NO you will not put me down, make me feel inferior. The day I said NO I started living for ME! 

Furthermore do not go by what you see on TV. Nowadays you see these woman on these reality shows that let these men make them look like a fool. They have no respect for there relationships or the woman they are dating. Do Not be taken for a fool for any man/women that do not know how to be in a healthy and stable relationship! It’s not cute or healthy to be treated like that. Know Your Worth! 

Lastly, it’s okay to be alone. Don’t be afraid of being alone. There is beauty in growing and learning about yourself. Don’t be disrespected. Don’t stand for that. I understand it’s not easy to walk a way, but understand this there is beauty in walking away! 

Giving it to you Straight, 

EbonyMonae💜

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Happy Tuesday! 

Hey guys. Happy Tuesday. It’s a new week. Let’s strive to be that person we know we can be. Let’s be better then we were yesterday.  My favorite quote now is “have courage and be kind!” That’s from the Cinderella movie. I got a chance to rewatch it this weekend with my little brother and sister. I just loved that quote. It just speaks to you. You may never know who would need that kindness you put forth. So this week be kind to others. It can change there whole life! 

Have courage. Do the things you thought you can not do. Don’t let the devil steal that from you. Believe in yourself. Someone once told me you are your own worst critic. I know that to be true. Because I am constantly putting myself down. It has to end sometime. Why not today? So let’s do all the things others and ourselves said we can not do! 

Having Courage and Kindness 

Ebony Monae💜

ps 

I really hope we all be a little more kinder to others. And have ALOT more courage to do the things we thought we can not. 

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💜Life Changing Moment💜

Good Morning. I wanted to post this Sunday when arrived back from Houston but I was tired and my hand was aching, still is for that matter my hand is in a splint. I apologize already for any misspelled words. So on to the good stuff.

On Sunday March 13th I had a life changing experience.  I have written in the past how I have struggled with direction in my life. What I have not disclosed is how I struggle with my faith. I was always the one that tiptoed into Christianity. Never fully committing because I did not understand it. How people can have so much faith? How someone you never met can have so much control over your life?  I never understood when people say Jesus changed my life or Jesus saved me. I just felt like how can that be. Until Sunday March 13th. 

Sunday March 13th I felt Gods presence. I felt his love for me. I felt his forgiveness. I don’t know if I am explaining it right but I felt his amazing love for me. Me? Someone who always tiptoed in my faith and Christanity. Someone whose faith was smaller than a mustard seed. Someone worst than a sinner. 

March 13th T.D Jakes said a prayer over my life. He spoke about how God takes people like Abraham and Jacobs. You see Jacob didn’t have a clean past. As pastor TD Jakes put it he was a “stutter”.  Messed up over and over in his life. But God still took him and used him. Such as Moses. Moses was a murderer but God used him to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.
Sitting in the stands at LakeWood Church surround by my love ones I felt such a calling on my life. Pastor T.D Jakes also spoke about how we all have a purpose in our life. I mentioned before in a previous post that I was struggling with that. Struggling with direction. Feeling lost. Pastor T.D Jakes put everything into perspective for me. “God has a plan for your life. Everything you have been through is a shadow of what’s to come. Remember where there are shadows there is always light. It will take time for you to understand your full purpose and destiny in life.”

Who knew that on this day I would be in the audience receiving that particular message. I came to Houston for a baby dedication for a friends son. I didn’t even know Pastor T.D Jakes would be there until I met up with everyone to go to Church that morning.
As I sit and write this post I can say I am at peace. I have never known such peace in my life. My mind is always running. Always thinking of the next step. Planning and when plans don’t go right then I am replanning. My mind is at peace. My spirit is at peace. I’m not thinking of tomorrow. I am just at peace. I can say at that this moment I have direction. I know God has a purpose for my life and he won’t lead me astray. 

Finally at Peace, 

Ebony Monae💜

ps,

Lord I pray that whoever reads this post will find direction in there life. I pray that you watch over them and guide them. Thank you lord for never giving up on me. For loving me unconditionally. I pray that your next direction in my life will be greater than the last. In your name I pray. Amen

pss, 

Lol here are some snap chat videos lol! 

   
  

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Breaking The Mold!!

In honor of International Women’s Day!

This quote is so inspiring to me. I have a three beautiful smart nieces. As I think about them as I type this post. I want them to have more opportunities then I ever had. I came to the realization that it starts at a young age to empower them to be strong, brave and courageous. It all starts with them. In a speech by fellow feminist Emma Watson she states “….it will take 75 years for a woman to be paid the same as men.” 75 years? What saddens me the most; is that I most likely won’t be around to see it! What I do know is that it starts with the next generation of woman and that’s our daughters, nieces, granddaughters and cousins. We have to teach them to be strong. To fight for women’s rights. To never give up. TO BREAK GLASS CEILINGS. 

Happy International Women’s Day! Lets all celebrate this day because WE HAVE EARNED IT!! 

Teaching Young Girls of Tomorrow,

Ebony Monae