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To The Dark Skin Beauties

Morning loves. Happy Sunday!! 

This post is for the girls that were told “Your pretty for a dark skin girl(s).”

Please like this post if you have ever been told that above. I HATE those seven words with a fierce passion. Why can’t I be beautiful because of my dark skin?

Growing up I was always made fun of because of my skin color. My siblings would call me “blacky” all the time due to the name calling I would grow up to hate my skin tone. I will never forget the time I was introduced to Coco Butter. I used that every day morning and night. About four months into using it my mother noticed my skin changing. She asked me what was going on with my face. I told her “I don’t know I’m just becoming lighter.” Around the six month mark she finally caught on to what I was doing by this time it was two late the damaged was already done. I had lights spots on my cheeks but the rest of my face was dark. Thus having me being called “two toned”. My thinking at that time was if I was lighter I would be beautiful. If I was lighter I would not be made fun of. If I was lighter boys would notice me. 

In my haste to lighten my skin didn’t realize that you had to put it all over your face and not just on the areas you didn’t like. It took years for my skin to become back to normal. Even now its tough to find certain foundations. 

I was not raised to love my skin until I got older and realized that my skin was not going anywhere. It is apart of me. Take this time to look into the mirror and see that beauty that is you. 

If you take away anything from this post. Understand that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOUR SKIN IS BEAUTIFUL. Your skin color does not determine if your  a pretty or not. I came across this video by Buzzfeed about dark skin and how people from various cultures go through this. Take a look at it. I have included it in bottom of this post. 

Ps, 

I love my skin 💜💜 

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Happy Birthday Beautiful💜

Miss Honesty Rose🌹

Honesty you mean so much to me. The love I have for you transcends time. I can’t even put it in to words. I love you with every fiber of my being. So this this letter is for you to look back on when life gets hard and when I’m no longer around. 

Dear Honesty,

 I love  you very much. Seeing you the first few hours you were born into this world I knew in my 💜 you were going to be something great. You were so tiny when I first laid eyes on you but you were a strong little thing. A fighter. You were born five weeks early but that didn’t stop you. It has been an honor to watch you grow, laugh, and learn. Remember to keep God close to your heart. He will always be there for you. You are his greatest creation never forget that. 

Honesty as you get older you will learn that life will knock you down. You will see friends come and go. You will have boys break your heart. In life there will be dark moments but  there will always be beautiful moments. These moments are what we live for. These moments are what makes life worth living. 

Honesty you will make mistakes in your life. If you didn’t you would not be living life. To truly grow and mature you have to learn from these mistakes. Remember a mistake is something you do once or twice, if it becomes more it is not a mistake it is an habit. Acknowledging ones mistakes also makes them the bigger person. With that being said don’t forget to say sorry when you are wrong. 

Don’t look back and regret life my love. Enjoy it, LIVE IT. Do whatever you want to do with your life. Baby girl don’t let anyone ever tell you the sky is the limit because there are footprints on the moon. Shoot for the moon and stars. Grab life by the horns and keep on pushing. If you fall remember I will always be there to help you stand up again. I will always be here to guide you. 

Life has a way of changing at a drop of a dime Honesty but remember when it does go with the changes, I know its easier to hang on to the past but embrace the change. God knows the plan he has for your life. 

Always follow your heart because it can lead you on amazing journeys. I can not wait to see what God has in store for you. I love you so very much. Don’t ever forget that💜 

Love Always and Forever, 

Auntie💜

Happy First Birthday Honesty Rose💜

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Extremely Saddened😔

This breaks my heart to see this. I don’t know what made her do something like this to herself. My heart goes out to any woman or man that can’t not accept the skin they are in. Trust me I was there. 

I know what it’s like to hate the skin color your in. I used to be bullied for being dark skinned. Thinking of it now is bringing me to tears. Kids were mean and cruel. I remember using cream lightners on my skin. Especially in my cheeks areas. Before my mother caught on  to what I was doing, I was two different skin tones. This resulting me to be made fun of again.  

It’s so important to uplift people. Words of kindness will go farther than words of cruelty. I wish someone told me I was beautiful when I was going through this I my life. At such a young age I was lost and confused. I hated my skin color. I hated my hair. I hated myself. 

Now that I’m older and I look back on that time in my life. I am thankfully that I took a journey of self discovery. I’m thankful that I learned to love the skin I’m in. I never understood why God puts you situations until now. I learned from them. I believe my journey was to help others. I had to go through the the pain and self hate to help and understand what others are going through. Now I don’t know if that’s what Lil Kim is going through. I can only guess as to her drastic changes. 

Final thoughts, love who you are. Take a journey within yourself. Don’t let other people’s words of hate make you see yourself differently. God designed you with love. Your skin, your hair or what you don’t like about yourself does not define who you are! I have learned that the most beautiful people can be the ugliest. What’s on the inside will always matter. 

Made in Gods Image, 

Ebony Monae 

ps, 

Take a journey of self discovery it will change you!

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🙆🏾Natural Hair Update&Rant🙆🏾

Hello my Natural Sisters.  I hope you guys are slaying (I love this word and Idk why lol)the natural hair world. Two weekends ago I was in Houston. Let me just go off on a tangent and speak about Houston. I loved Houston while I was there. It was my first time visiting and it won’t be my last time. It was a pretty city. The food was good. The people were nice. Houston was like the capital of Natural Hair. Everywhere I went I saw Natural Hair women. I also went to a few beauty supply stores they all sold natural hair care products and on top of that there were a lot of beauty schools I saw as I was driving by.  Some of the products I saw I have never even heard of before( you know was on Youtube like nobodies business). Prices were in between. Some things I saw I was like damn they don’t have that so cheap by me. Others I was like its way cheaper by me. While there I got some cool products to try out. I have posted pictures below. I got these Products from Pampered&Twisted. They are a natural hair boutique located in Houston. It was a nice establishment. The worker was very nice and friendly. He was also helpful. He was knowledgeable about natural hair as well. When I go back to Houston I will most definitely be returning. One thing I like about Pampered &Twisted was that they sell these products online if I like what I see, it’s easy to repurchase more.

Product Reviews:

  •  I love the Curls Blueberry Bliss Restorative Leave In Conditioner. Let me start off by saying it smells amazing. It revitalizes my tresses. Loveeeee ittttt; will definitely purchase again. The price was not to bad either.
  • The Blue Rose Beauty Chocolate Rose Hair Mask was amazing. My hair was so soft after the I used it. I loved how easy it was to detangle my hair. THE SMELL? Was to die for. If I could I would eat my hair that is how good it smelled. I will for sure be repurchasing in the near future.
  • The Jireh Edge Control was my least favorite. I saw the product on many Instagram’s and Vlogs. It really did not lay my edges down. I get better results using the Eco Styler Gel. I am going to use it again and I will see if I like it any better. Will update with pic of styles if I do.

Now on to my RANT. While I was in Houston, I was at a beauty store shopping for products this young woman approached me asked me if I can explain to her somethings about Natural hair. Even though I had to catch a plane that very afternoon, actually in less than an hour. I still took the time to help her. Took the time to guide her. In April it will be three years that I am natural. I have had people help me along the way. My friend Diana was always telling me about products to use as I started to transition. Trust me on this, I have had bad hair days and then I had days where my hair was SLAYED y’all. I came to the realization that we have to help others on this journey. You would be surprised how people do not want to help other woman. For an example, a couple of months back  I belonged to this Facebook group about woman empowerment. This one woman posted a pic about natural hair. So other woman were commenting and saying it was a great hair style and how they loved it, while also posting pictures of there natural hair. So this one woman posted a picture where she asked for help with her hair. Her hair was extremely short and breaking off. Not one person gave her advice but me. As woman who are natural we have to help others on this journey and yes it is a journey. Especially coming from an era where it’s common to spend money on bundles of hair instead of investing time into your own hair. Take the time and help someone on there journey. I have had quite a lot of woman ask me things about hair. Every person who asked me I gave them either resources or gave them the knowledge of what I knew. When I am in the mood to look at hair techniques I’m looking for hours, I’m researching products, blogs, vlogs and YouTube like crazy.

My Final Thoughts:

I am gaining knowledge about my hair and its empowering to me. My natural is empowering to me. Somedays I hate doing my hair and other days I am blessed that my hair is healthy and that I have the funds to take care of my hair. Invest time in your hair. Invest the time for yourself. 

1.Products from Pampered & Twisted! Here is the website just in case you gals wants to check it out. http://www.pamperedtendrils.com
2. This is what my hair looks like with the Chocolate Hair Mask in. My hair is so super soft and the curls are defined. 

3. I always wanted to do one of these things. So I did. Check out my Instagram Ebony_Monaes_Thoughts. I show you how I achieved this look. Can anyone tell me my hair type? I feel like its a bit of everything. My colorist doesn’t like to go by that. He says curls are curls. I am just curious is all.    

5. These photos are me with my protective braids. Those edges are slicked babyyy lol.(this pic below and above I used the Eco Styler).


6.Last but not least this photo is my hair blown out and flat ironed. I love and hate my hair in this state. I hate the maintenance of it. Bumping the ends in the morning. The upkeep is not worth it to me.

One thing I want a reader to get out of this post is to love your hair and to help someone else on there natural hair journey.  Love this journey your on. Like I wrote above its empowering. 

Happily Natural<3

Ebony Monae<3

 

 

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Breaking The Mold!!

In honor of International Women’s Day!

This quote is so inspiring to me. I have a three beautiful smart nieces. As I think about them as I type this post. I want them to have more opportunities then I ever had. I came to the realization that it starts at a young age to empower them to be strong, brave and courageous. It all starts with them. In a speech by fellow feminist Emma Watson she states “….it will take 75 years for a woman to be paid the same as men.” 75 years? What saddens me the most; is that I most likely won’t be around to see it! What I do know is that it starts with the next generation of woman and that’s our daughters, nieces, granddaughters and cousins. We have to teach them to be strong. To fight for women’s rights. To never give up. TO BREAK GLASS CEILINGS. 

Happy International Women’s Day! Lets all celebrate this day because WE HAVE EARNED IT!! 

Teaching Young Girls of Tomorrow,

Ebony Monae

 

 

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Your Uniquely You


This week Affirmation is that your uniquely you. I posted this picture a month or so back. On Friday it applied to my life.

On Friday I posted a picture of myself dressed as a  some would say an hippie. This era to me reflects woman empowerment and how they really wanted change. Anyways that night I received ridicule and was made fun of for my outfit (personally I thought I looked cute). What I am trying to say I was living my life how I saw fit. I was BEING MYSELF. Those words could have changed my whole outlook. I could have let others thoughts define me. In the end I remember the ending of this quote “…live only as YOU can.”  I Understood that my  life was completely mines to do with it what I wanted to. I am living it how you see I fit.

One of the biggest things I want my readers to understand is that life is short. We are not promised tomorrow. With that being said be the person you want to be, live life on your own terms. Last Wednesday I wrote a post about taking a jump in your life. Now I want you to accept who you are. I want you to love the person who you are becoming. You are strong, brilliant, beautiful. I say this mantra to myself everyday. It reminds me where I came from. The girl with so much self hate and turmoil in her life. Everyday is a battle. So I remind myself that I am beautiful and I am enough.

Keep this in mind as you go about the rest of your week. Have fun. Love openly.  Dance, sing or read but do it because you love it. Do it because it makes you happy. You don’t have to dance perfectly or sing on key. Sing and dance because it brings your spirit joy.

 

Living Life As Only I Can,

Ebony Monae<3

 

 

 

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Take The JUMP! 

Good Morning! Happy First Day of March!!(this was suppose to be posted yesterday morning sorry). 

Okay everyone I encourage you to watch this video. You don’t even have to read my words but PLEASE watch this video.

I saw this video below on my Facebook on Valentines Day. This video was moving because that very morning I was speaking with a coworker about how lost I was in my life. Then Steve Harvey speaks of something so life changing.  Just Jump he states! “Don’t let fear keep you from ever taking that jump.” That was me. I was letting the fear of failure keep me back from doing something  great with my life. He went on to say “god gave us each a gift at birth.” I will say that is something I have always struggled with the gift god has given me. I always ask myself what is this gift God gave me? I know God gave me a gift. I came to the realization that when its time he will reveal that gift to me. I also learned that it’s all about patience.

What Steve was speaking about touched my heart. He made me realize that is okay to take that jump.  He went on to explain that when you jump you won’t land on your feet, you will get scars, scrapes AND you will bleed. You just have to remind yourself that do not let fear stop you.

“You can not exist in this life, you have got to try to live.” How moving is that one statement. Living life is one of the hardest things a person can do. Yea we are breathing. We get up and we go to work and then we come home. IS that living life?  NO. We get so caught up in existing, we forget to live. We got to take our gift that God has given us and we have to  JUMP.

My parting words to you. “If you do not Jump, your parachute with never open. You will never know what god really has for you.” 

Taking that Jump,

Ebony Monae<3

 

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I Want Every Day to Be Valentines Day❤️

So yesterday I got into a heated discussion(it’s a nice way to say argument) with my lovely sister about Valentine’s Day. Since I’m single and she has a boyfriend/baby daddy our views are vastly different. I was debating whether to write something as it is so cliche and I don’t want to come off as “bitter”or “Debbie Downer” as my younger sister put it. I felt like I have to get this off my chest because it didn’t sit right with me. Someone once told when you are feeling the most that’s when you write. So here goes!

First things first, just because I am single in no way or form makes me bitter or hating on anyone’s relationship. Second I was that female that expected gifts on Valentine’s Day as well as time,attention and expensive dinners. As I grew up and matured I wanted differently. Lastly it took time for me to realize that how stupid I was being. He can treat me like crap all year long but that one day he gets a pass because it’s Valentines Day? NO! Not anymore!

That’s what changed. I didn’t want that. I wanted someone to buy me flowers because it’s a Friday and he knows my week was tough at work! Get me peanut M&M’s because it’s my time of the month and they solve the sweet and salty taste that I crave. On Tuesday lets go to a dinner because those biscuits I love are to die for and you know I don’t want to cook us dinner. That’s what I want. Not some guy to treat me good on one day of the year. Treat me as if everyday is Valentines Day! 

As mentioned above I am not hating on anyone’s relationship. I don’t want my post to ruin anyone’s special day or what they believe about Valentine’s Day; but I will say it just pisses me off when people get to tell you just because you don’t see something there way you are “bitter”or “jealous”. No I am not, as I grew up I just wanted different things from a relationship. My sister is still very young and immature. I thought as a another woman and a mother with a daughter that she could relate to what I was saying. Silly me; I was wrong. Honestly she is not the first woman to say that two me when it comes to my thoughts on this day. Or now that I think about it my thoughts on relationships period. 

I understand my views different from other woman but I think we all can say that we want a man that will treat us with the utmost respect. Him treating me or showing me appreciation on one day doesn’t cut it for me as there are 364 other days in a year. 

Well that’s all I have to say for this post! 

Loving Myself First, 

Ebony Monae💜

ps, 

Happy Valentines Day❤️💗❤️💗

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Some Wednesday Thoughts

  

Always be you. Always love who you are.  This quote just spoke to me. Lately I just had to remind myself to be ME. I got so caught up with looking at things on instagram and Pinterest, I was putting myself down that my hair wasn’t like that or I wish I had style like they do. That I forgot to look at myself and say no one is me.  I am my own person with a unique style and voice.

With that being said. This weeks Affirmation for me is that I am uniquely me. No one has my vision or voice. My  life is completely mines to do with it what I want to.

One of the biggest things I want my readers to understand is that life is short. We are not promised tomorrow. Be the person you want to be, live life on your own terms.

Keep this in mind as you go about the rest of your week. Have fun. Love openly.  Dance, sing or read but do it because you love it.

Living my life as only I can, 

Ebony Monae

ps,

Never conform to others standards of beauty. Love who you are. Listen to your own heart. Listen to your own voice.