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Know Your Worth!

  
R-E-S-P-E-C-T!!!! 

 Hunny have respect for yourself. LOVE yourself. Do not let anyone put you down, make you feel worthless. You are beautiful! You are amazing! You are NOT what they said you are! The basis for all relationships is RESPECT. 

Lauren Hill, she is just a beautiful soul. Take her words to heart. If she/he doesn’t respect you, then they don’t DESERVE you! I can attest to this. I been through it. I let them do that to me. In the end I learned myself worth. I learned that,  NO you will not speak to me that way. NO you will not put me down, make me feel inferior. The day I said NO I started living for ME! 

Furthermore do not go by what you see on TV. Nowadays you see these woman on these reality shows that let these men make them look like a fool. They have no respect for there relationships or the woman they are dating. Do Not be taken for a fool for any man/women that do not know how to be in a healthy and stable relationship! It’s not cute or healthy to be treated like that. Know Your Worth! 

Lastly, it’s okay to be alone. Don’t be afraid of being alone. There is beauty in growing and learning about yourself. Don’t be disrespected. Don’t stand for that. I understand it’s not easy to walk a way, but understand this there is beauty in walking away! 

Giving it to you Straight, 

EbonyMonae💜

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🙆🏾Natural Hair Update&Rant🙆🏾

Hello my Natural Sisters.  I hope you guys are slaying (I love this word and Idk why lol)the natural hair world. Two weekends ago I was in Houston. Let me just go off on a tangent and speak about Houston. I loved Houston while I was there. It was my first time visiting and it won’t be my last time. It was a pretty city. The food was good. The people were nice. Houston was like the capital of Natural Hair. Everywhere I went I saw Natural Hair women. I also went to a few beauty supply stores they all sold natural hair care products and on top of that there were a lot of beauty schools I saw as I was driving by.  Some of the products I saw I have never even heard of before( you know was on Youtube like nobodies business). Prices were in between. Some things I saw I was like damn they don’t have that so cheap by me. Others I was like its way cheaper by me. While there I got some cool products to try out. I have posted pictures below. I got these Products from Pampered&Twisted. They are a natural hair boutique located in Houston. It was a nice establishment. The worker was very nice and friendly. He was also helpful. He was knowledgeable about natural hair as well. When I go back to Houston I will most definitely be returning. One thing I like about Pampered &Twisted was that they sell these products online if I like what I see, it’s easy to repurchase more.

Product Reviews:

  •  I love the Curls Blueberry Bliss Restorative Leave In Conditioner. Let me start off by saying it smells amazing. It revitalizes my tresses. Loveeeee ittttt; will definitely purchase again. The price was not to bad either.
  • The Blue Rose Beauty Chocolate Rose Hair Mask was amazing. My hair was so soft after the I used it. I loved how easy it was to detangle my hair. THE SMELL? Was to die for. If I could I would eat my hair that is how good it smelled. I will for sure be repurchasing in the near future.
  • The Jireh Edge Control was my least favorite. I saw the product on many Instagram’s and Vlogs. It really did not lay my edges down. I get better results using the Eco Styler Gel. I am going to use it again and I will see if I like it any better. Will update with pic of styles if I do.

Now on to my RANT. While I was in Houston, I was at a beauty store shopping for products this young woman approached me asked me if I can explain to her somethings about Natural hair. Even though I had to catch a plane that very afternoon, actually in less than an hour. I still took the time to help her. Took the time to guide her. In April it will be three years that I am natural. I have had people help me along the way. My friend Diana was always telling me about products to use as I started to transition. Trust me on this, I have had bad hair days and then I had days where my hair was SLAYED y’all. I came to the realization that we have to help others on this journey. You would be surprised how people do not want to help other woman. For an example, a couple of months back  I belonged to this Facebook group about woman empowerment. This one woman posted a pic about natural hair. So other woman were commenting and saying it was a great hair style and how they loved it, while also posting pictures of there natural hair. So this one woman posted a picture where she asked for help with her hair. Her hair was extremely short and breaking off. Not one person gave her advice but me. As woman who are natural we have to help others on this journey and yes it is a journey. Especially coming from an era where it’s common to spend money on bundles of hair instead of investing time into your own hair. Take the time and help someone on there journey. I have had quite a lot of woman ask me things about hair. Every person who asked me I gave them either resources or gave them the knowledge of what I knew. When I am in the mood to look at hair techniques I’m looking for hours, I’m researching products, blogs, vlogs and YouTube like crazy.

My Final Thoughts:

I am gaining knowledge about my hair and its empowering to me. My natural is empowering to me. Somedays I hate doing my hair and other days I am blessed that my hair is healthy and that I have the funds to take care of my hair. Invest time in your hair. Invest the time for yourself. 

1.Products from Pampered & Twisted! Here is the website just in case you gals wants to check it out. http://www.pamperedtendrils.com
2. This is what my hair looks like with the Chocolate Hair Mask in. My hair is so super soft and the curls are defined. 

3. I always wanted to do one of these things. So I did. Check out my Instagram Ebony_Monaes_Thoughts. I show you how I achieved this look. Can anyone tell me my hair type? I feel like its a bit of everything. My colorist doesn’t like to go by that. He says curls are curls. I am just curious is all.    

5. These photos are me with my protective braids. Those edges are slicked babyyy lol.(this pic below and above I used the Eco Styler).


6.Last but not least this photo is my hair blown out and flat ironed. I love and hate my hair in this state. I hate the maintenance of it. Bumping the ends in the morning. The upkeep is not worth it to me.

One thing I want a reader to get out of this post is to love your hair and to help someone else on there natural hair journey.  Love this journey your on. Like I wrote above its empowering. 

Happily Natural<3

Ebony Monae<3

 

 

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Take The JUMP! 

Good Morning! Happy First Day of March!!(this was suppose to be posted yesterday morning sorry). 

Okay everyone I encourage you to watch this video. You don’t even have to read my words but PLEASE watch this video.

I saw this video below on my Facebook on Valentines Day. This video was moving because that very morning I was speaking with a coworker about how lost I was in my life. Then Steve Harvey speaks of something so life changing.  Just Jump he states! “Don’t let fear keep you from ever taking that jump.” That was me. I was letting the fear of failure keep me back from doing something  great with my life. He went on to say “god gave us each a gift at birth.” I will say that is something I have always struggled with the gift god has given me. I always ask myself what is this gift God gave me? I know God gave me a gift. I came to the realization that when its time he will reveal that gift to me. I also learned that it’s all about patience.

What Steve was speaking about touched my heart. He made me realize that is okay to take that jump.  He went on to explain that when you jump you won’t land on your feet, you will get scars, scrapes AND you will bleed. You just have to remind yourself that do not let fear stop you.

“You can not exist in this life, you have got to try to live.” How moving is that one statement. Living life is one of the hardest things a person can do. Yea we are breathing. We get up and we go to work and then we come home. IS that living life?  NO. We get so caught up in existing, we forget to live. We got to take our gift that God has given us and we have to  JUMP.

My parting words to you. “If you do not Jump, your parachute with never open. You will never know what god really has for you.” 

Taking that Jump,

Ebony Monae<3

 

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Lost in Translation😔

I finished my last semester of my undergrad last December. I can not stress how  happy I am that I completed my BA as it had been a long time coming. 

But as that chapter came to a close. Another opens. I began to ask myself questions like what to do next with my life? What comes after this achievement? Are all people lost like I am? Or is it just me? 

I see my friends are having children, getting married and know what they want to do with there lives and I just don’t. I thought as you grow up you know what steps to take next in life. I thought when I became an adult there was a manual on life. I know after high school it’s college. I did that. What’s after college? More college? How do I begin to live life when I don’t even know what I want to do with my life. 

When I look at other educational  options all I see is more testing or more money to spend that I don’t have. It’s a major turn off for me. I pride myself on being an example for my siblings. Even though two are older than me and another is younger I refuse to be another statistic. I want to show them that there is other options to life than what we have been exposed to. But when I see all that goes into furthering myself it’s discouraging. I don’t want to do anything with myself. Then I start to feel like a failure. A big fat failure. Ugh why does life have to be so damn on confusing and frustrating. 

Can anyone relate to this? I’m 26 and yet so confused more than ever about life. Hopefully I will find some much needed direction soon. 

Lost girl, 

EbonyMonae 

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Some Wednesday Thoughts

  

Always be you. Always love who you are.  This quote just spoke to me. Lately I just had to remind myself to be ME. I got so caught up with looking at things on instagram and Pinterest, I was putting myself down that my hair wasn’t like that or I wish I had style like they do. That I forgot to look at myself and say no one is me.  I am my own person with a unique style and voice.

With that being said. This weeks Affirmation for me is that I am uniquely me. No one has my vision or voice. My  life is completely mines to do with it what I want to.

One of the biggest things I want my readers to understand is that life is short. We are not promised tomorrow. Be the person you want to be, live life on your own terms.

Keep this in mind as you go about the rest of your week. Have fun. Love openly.  Dance, sing or read but do it because you love it.

Living my life as only I can, 

Ebony Monae

ps,

Never conform to others standards of beauty. Love who you are. Listen to your own heart. Listen to your own voice.  


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Thank You And Happy Birthday!! 

  
Thank You Dr. Martin Luther King. Because of you and others, people of color and other races have come a long way towards equality. You gave us a voice. Growing up my grandmother use to sing you praises. Young me thought why? He’s just another preacher. She sat me down and explained to me that you were more.  You were a vision of hope. She described what life was like growing up in the south. She recalled not facing extreme racism like her brothers and sisters due to her lighter skin tone but she remembered how she felt. She felt worthless. 

My grandmother engrained in me to be humble and most of all thankful. Young me wouldn’t understand the significance of her words until later on in my life. 

I won’t put you on a pedalstool because like any other human you had flaws. But I will say that you paved the way for young people like me to not have to take a seat in the back of the bus, a right to equal education, the right to be African America in a country when racicm is still much alive. 

Your bravery and courage paved the way for a black man to be President of the United States. 

It saddens me to see young men and woman forgetting about the people who fought and died for some of the luxuries they have today. It saddens me to see the younger generation putting pop stars as there idols based on looks and the money they flash around. 

It breaks my heart to see we have entered an era where young men and woman are dying at the hands of police officers and that our legal system is failing them.  Justice is not being served. It’s time we all stand up for what matters. No longer should we be silent on these matters. 
We have a voice and it’s our turn to take up the torch and march forward. 

Thankful, 

Ebony Monae

ps,

Wishing you a very special Birthday in Heaven!! 


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Happy Birthday to Me💜

I  turned twenty-six on Sunday October 25th. First and foremost I want to thank the Lord for blessing me with another year on this earth. With all my health problems this past year I didn’t know if I would make it this far.

Twenty-six years ago my biological mother gave birth to me on Wednesday October 25th at 7:28am. Six years later I was placed in a foster home and adopted a year later. As I do every year I wonder if you think of me on this day. The little girl your gave life too. I wonder do you think about the person I have become? Do you think about my smile if I have yours or my fathers? Do you pray for my safe keeping? Do you think about the silly things I do?

Since I don’t know where to look for you. I want you to know a few things about me. My favorite color is purple. My greatest fear is to be alone and to be a disappointment to someone.  My greatest accomplishment in this world will never be menial things but making a difference in this world with my words or actions. I want you to know that I’m doing fine. Some days are hard, but I know I am blessed because I have great friends and family. My best friend is my rock when my world turns dark. She see’s me at my worst but always loves me just the same. I want you to know that I’m on the road to greatness. I am going to do something with my life. I will make a difference.  To know That I’m following my dreams. People have doubted that I would even make it. But I am. I want you to know that I think of you. That I wonder if I look like you. I see my niece, your grandchild and I wonder if she would ever get to meet you or to the know you.

These words of mines most likely will never reach your eyes, but these words come from my heart. My final words to you are I Forgive You. 

Forever your little girl, 

EbonyMonae

 

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Taking The Next Step💪🏾

  

First things first Happy October!! I love the month of October the fall leaves start to change different colors. With the leaves changing I want to change as well. I want to change my body.

This year I wanted to take control of my weight. I am one of those people who carries there weight well (to me weight its weight). Currently I am 170 and for my 5’1 frame I am considered obese. When I stare at myself in the mirror I don’t see beautiful. I don’t see a person I am comfortable with. This whole year has been about change from the inside out. I am the type of person who looses weight pretty quickly but also gains it as well. It’s a cycle I go through, I gain and loose. Now as the colder months hit and I am taking out my winter clothes none of them FIT. I am wearing black leggings to work almost every day because my dress slacks don’t fit. My blouses don’t fit. LITERALLY NOTHING FITS. 

Today I said enough is enough. I want to live a healthy livestyle. I want to feel comfortable and beautiful in my clothes and not worry about my bra rolls OR tummy rolls. Today I finally admitted I needed some outside help. So with the help of my best friend I joined drum roll please (does the universal sign for drum roll) Weight Watchers.

I know you guys are probably thinking its Weight Watchers not a big deal but to me that’s a huge freaking deal. I’m the type of person that’s does everything on my own. I dont like to depend on people at all. It comes naturally that losing weight should be done on my own. So signing up for Weight Watchers means I will be going to the meetings once a week and getting weighed in. I, being me wanted to take it one step further with Weight Watchers I am giving  myself week by week goals. Starting Monday its workout for 30 Mins a day with Cassie Ho (blogilates) and then the next week eat more vegetables and so on. I read somewhere if you give yourself short obtainable goals they are easier to reach.

So for the month of October I am planning on loosing weight. I want to truly begin living an lifestyle that is healthy. I don’t know how I am going to write about it. I know some days will be hard and the other days will be easier. I am happy to finally take this step towards being healthy and comfortable in my own skin.

Soon to be Fit and Fabulous

Ebony Monae

p.s

I don’t want people to take this the wrong way about what I wrote. Some people feel like you should learn to love your body the way it is. But I feel like if you can change something about yourself than you should. I don’t want people to think that I am talking about plastic surgery. I am talking about hard work and determination of knowing what my body needs and making the best changes a I can.

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Believe in Your Inner Voice!



Steve Jobs once stated Your time is Limited, so don’t WASTE it living someone else’s Life. Don’t be trapped by dogma- which is Living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t Let the noise of other people’s opinions drown out your inner voice. AND most important, have the courage to follow your Heart and Intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is Secondary! 

Repeating these words to myself has given me great insight into listening to my inner voice. I feel like I have wasted so much time on trying to make others happy and never once listened to my heart. Life is all about being happy. If your not happy living the life your living then its time to start to make some changes in your life where you could be. Remember YOU only have ONE LIFE, SO ALWAYS MAKE THE BEST OF IT! 

XoXo Ebony Monae XoXo

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I’m Coming For It!!

  
All my life people made me feel like because I was adopted and my biological mother was on drugs and had her parental rights terminated that I would turn out to be just like her. Always hearing that saying “The apple don’t fall far from the tree.” How I use to hate that statement. It use to bother me something fierce growing up. Still does for that matter. 

I never understood why people thought it’s was okay to tear someone down instead of lifting them up. With my biological mother being that way didn’t mean I was going to be that way. A quote from a favorite poem ” I am her daughter but I am not her choices.” I make my own choices and the burden of her life choices should not be mines to bear. Life has a funny way of proving those type of people wrong. 

But today I stand on my on two feet because of the grace of God. I am drug free, I am a hard worker. I attend school full time while holding down two jobs. 

This post is for the people that made me feel like my dreams didn’t matter. That I was going to be another statistic. Your ignorance drove me to be the person I am today. Everything you said I couldn’t have I am coming for it. Just watch me shine because it’s going to be so bright it just might be blinded by it ✨✨✨🌟🌟. 

😍😍 EbonyMonae😍😍

p.s. 

Don’t let people stop your shine my lovelies. If there is something you want, go for it because it will kill them more to know that your COMING FOR/GOT IT💜